Thursday, April 8, 2010

Quick, Honest Question

During class today, a student told me that the Gettysburg Address is an example of capitalist brainwashing.

Can anyone — and I’m asking seriously and humbly, here — tell me how such a claim could reasonably be true?

I would have forced him to clarify, but the discussion ended up going in a different direction; plus, he was too busy studying a book of GRE vocab words. I’d prefer that he not read in class, but it’s difficult for me to bring myself to force him to participate when that means asking him to put his very advanced English book away and focus on filling out a Fun Worksheet called “What Would You Do If You Were A Superhero?”. I feel like this is the sort of classroom management problem I should ask my Teach for America colleagues about, since they’re far better trained than I am. I’m sure they often have to deal with the problem of kids reading the Analects of Confucius instead of paying attention in class.

Anyway really I don’t make him stop reading because I’m just hoping he’ll go easy on me when he is my boss in 3 years.

Hey, speaking of how much we all hate America: I hate it when people invite me to become fans of things on facebook. I promise you I am never going to become a fan of “Whoa, did you know you could do THIS with your iPod?”, which is a real fan page which I’ve really been invited to (twice!). It is full of posts like this:

YOU COPY AND PASTE THIS TO NINE PEOPLES STATUS’S IN THE NEXT 20 MINUTES YOU WILL GET KISSED AND OR ASKED OUT BY YOUR CRUSH TOMORROW! AND IF YOU BREAK THIS CHAIN YOU WILL HAVE BAD LUCK FOR THE NEXT SEVEN YEARS , AND WILL BE HAUNTED BY A LITTLE DEAD GIRL THAT BROKE THIS CHAIN SEVEN YEARS AGO. THIS IS SO SCARY CAUSE IT ACUTALLY WORKS. YOUR TIME STARTS NOW!

We’ll see if this thing acutally works. I figure by posting this to my blog it counts for at least nine readers, so I’ll let you know if I see Portia de Rossi, Anna Paquin (circa Fly Away Home), or Greg from Season 2 of VH1's "The Pickup Artist" in Guangzhou, China sometime in the next 24 hours.

Also that thing about the dead girl is, like, the saddest thing I’ve ever heard.