Wednesday, October 21, 2009

Today: Brought to you by the letter "U"

Disclaimer: I just wrote this, so I'm posting it, but be warned it's a whole barrel of crazy. Read more if you dare.

Today is brought to u by the letter "u" because the letter "u" is in the words haiku, muumuu, house, and nuse-paper, which are the things that I want to talk about in today's post. Actually, one of those words is a decoy that I included in order to get you interested. Hint: I'm betting you're interested in garments wikipedia describes as being "popular...with obese people because they do not restrict the waist."

Actually, screw this "u" thing for a second so I can talk about wikipedia. Today I happened to be reading the article on the Infinite Monkey Theorem (which states that an infinite number of monkeys and/or apes will, in an infinite amount of time, almost surely produce whatever you want). If you click through you will see that this article has been given the Origami Bronze Star of This Shit's Great (official wikipedia term), so you know you're in for a treat. Some things to note about this article:

It is accompanied by this picture of a monkey (ape?) at, wait for it, a typewriter:

The talk page (you should always read the talk pages; they are always great) includes two comment by Firl21 on the ape (monkey?) question:
would using apes by any chance change the probability?

ok the meaning behind this is that apes have diffrent centeres of gravity and diffrent hand sizes. would thoes factors contribute to the probibilty of producing hamlet . also if the monkey has to prduce 1 of shakespears works wouldnt we multiply the chance by the numbers of shakespears works. and what if the work of shake spear was inside of a string of "jrwosufjsiuhamlet hamlet hamletwjfgijsivso"

This is self-evidently hilarious, except for the part about centeres of gravity, which is a serious problem, as those of us who have ever tried to make dual action monkey/ape (ape/monkey?) seesaws will tell you. (Just think for a minute about a monkey and an ape riding a seesaw together. SEE HOW MUCH FUN THAT WAS?)

But Firl21's question about the limitations of monkeys specifically is answered on the article page itself, because there is a section of that article called "Real monkeys", which states, apropos of Romeo and Juliet,
"Even if a monkey could learn to write a play and describe the characters' behavior, it could not reveal the characters' minds and so build an ironic tragedy."
Can't deal with ironic tragedy?? Looks like those monkeys should turn their attention from Shakespeare to Thomas Kyd, right guys? But seriously it's comforting to know that if monkeys ever take over the planet, they won't be able to see the irony when (spoiler alert) they end up looking exactly like the humans when they play cards in the farmer's house at the end.

Well now I'm too tired to write about haikus, houses, or newspapers (sorry, muumuus, you're out), so I'll get to that tomorrow. Looks like tomorrow will also be sponsored by the letter u because I like u crazy. I need sleep.