Monday, October 19, 2009

Lessons I Learned This Week

I learned some things this week.
  • I learned how to see a ghost. As I have mentioned before, Gristle enjoys telling ghost stories, though sometimes he does so with an air of trepidation because he believes that ghosts are really, really dangerous. Anyway, he told us yesterday that the best way to check whether or not we have ghosts in our apartment is to light some candles, put a mirror on the ground, turn off all the lights, and then look through our legs at the mirror and see if we see any ghosts. (And then I said, The last time I had a party like that I was naked! And my wife's name was Nicole Kidman, and my life was criticized for being "plodding" and "overwrought.") But Gristle also said, apparently without any self-awareness, that that there were two conditions that needed to be met before you could see a ghost: 1) it must be nighttime and/or raining, and 2) you have to be drunk. I suppose this explains the ghosts, but, then again, I feel like I've tried this exact procedure before (at Tower, at various room parties, alone in my room, crying) without success.
  • I learned about the rule of three. Blah blah blah.
  • I learned that you should not require your students to read aloud a passage which includes the word Niger, as they will invariably pronounce it incorrectly.

Yeah, so that's what I learned. I promise I'll start writing engaging blog posts again as soon as I stop being so tired all the time. Maybe I have mono. Or, paging Dr. House!, African sleeping sickness.