Monday, September 14, 2009

World's Least Attractive Concert Extravaganza

Work with me for a second: imagine there's a show featuring twelve tenors.

Before you start doing too much imagining, I'll add that the twelve tenors are, like, the least attractive tenors you've ever seen.*

Imagine that there's a poster of these ugly tenors, making singing faces which somehow make them even uglier. Imagine that the poster has blue curtains, mist, and lens flares. Imagine that the tagline for this tenor concert is "We Will Rock You", or, in Chinese, “我们浆震撼你” (closer to "we will shock you")

I promise that whatever you imagined, it could not be more repulsive than this poster:


I still haven't decided which one's my favorite. Probably the guy at the top right, who I think was one of my math professors.

The program for this concert promises "a selection of classic vocal, pop, rock, and folk music from all over the world", but goes on to say that the set will include "You raise me up (a best hit by Westlife, No. 1 song in the US for weeks)","Bohemian Rhapsody (a famous American Jazz song)", and "Good Vibrations (a Spanish folk song)". So it's difficult to believe any of their promises.

Gus and I already bought our tickets, obviously. Student tickets are only RMB 50, which is a steal (pinch! pilfer! purloin!).

When Gus and I went to the copy shop today we saw the guy who asked me to have a cigarette with him and then asked me out to dinner. (I didn't mention that he asked me out to dinner in that post, but it did actually happen.) This time, as we came up the stairs, he said “啊,两个靓仔!”, which in English means, "Eh! Two good-looking boys!" Normally this would be sort of flattering (I guess?), but he looks approximately like this


except not as hip. This man in the photo could be on the Chinese Sartorialist. Bold patterns, guy!

*Edited after publication to remove what I suppose was a needlessly mean reference to the Wildcats. (Zing!)